bloodlust;;

[derepressed]

After Aburano Koji.
Shinsengumi Headquarters, Harada & Nagakura's Room.

[It's been nearly a week since Aburano Koji, but Chizuru still sees red every time she closes her eyes. The streets, their clothing, their blades. Red. Everything, red.

Heisuke had suffered a grievous wound, and there were so many witnesses that when he took the ochimizu, there was no recourse but to declare him dead, because too many people had seen him take a blow that should have been fatal. Too many people could bear witness to the sort of injury that would have killed anyone else, and it would have raised too many questions for him to make a miraculous recovery. He was waiting out his transition with the rest of the Corps, and Chizuru can't help but think that it must be so incredibly lonely.

Sano and Shinpachi, on the other hand, had also suffered terrible wounds - but they were not so publicized. The full extent of how badly they had been injured hadn't come to light until after the return to headquarters, when so many people were occupied with Heisuke's injury and "death" that it was possible for them to take the serum and recover without arousing too much suspicion. They're confined to one room to wait out the change (because, should they be separated, one would inevitably seek out the other, and if something happened in public during that trip...!), and Chizuru is with them now, caring for them to the best of her ability.

She has cups of tea, not sake, to go along with their meal. In truth, she's not sure it's a great idea to be giving them alcohol while their bodies are still trying to adjust to the change. And so she sets one in front of Sano and one in front of Shinpachi, fixing them both with a smile as she does so and then turning to spoon rice into bowls.]

Please, eat as much as you like... [They need their strength. She's gone out of her way to make sure they have nutritious foods; she wants to make this transition as easy for them as possible. If Sannan would let her do so, she would do the same for Heisuke, but he still didn't allow her to freely walk through the rooms where the rest of the Corps was housed.] There's plenty for seconds, and if there's anything you need, I--

[Her words are cut off with a slight gasp because, as she speaks, she accidentally scrapes her finger against a sharp edge of one of the bowls - where some of the ceramic had chipped away and left a hazard. Immediately, she curls her hand into a tight fist and brings it close to her chest, trying to minimize the smell of blood - because it's clearly the last thing they need.]

U-um...

Comments

[nostatus]

[ His chest hurts like hell. His whole body hurts like hell, it's all he can register right now, like he isn't even in charge anymore of his own body or actions and he hates it, this is exactly what he hates about the whole idea of the rasetsu, proud men, warriors, being reduced to a state where they can even think for themselves anymore and instead only go with their primary, near animalistic instincts.

And Chizuru being closer certainly doesn't help, even if the cut has healed up and the blood is gone. Because the smell of the blood still lingers in his mind, in his mouth, making him feel sick to his very stomach when she places a hand on her shoulder. It's true that it's really a good thing that Sano is a rasetsu with as tightly as he's clinging onto the other guy with the last hopes of keeping himself together instead of coming undone right then and there.

As he swallows thickly, he can hear Sano speaking to Chizuru, and when he looks out of the corner of his eye he can see him placing his forehead against her head. Shinpachi sucks in a deep breath - that's good, at least. Sano's always been much, much better at this whole dealing with girls (especially ones that are sad) thing than he has been, so maybe he can make her feel a little better, maybe he can convince her to leave after all and then they'll.. they'll figure out something together. Just like they've always done. (Can they still do that now?)

The man keeps himself out of it for a moment so he can deal with gaining control over the pain and his mind again as the other two talk, one hand still wrapped around Sano's wrist, the other clutched against his chest as he bites back the pain. He's a warrior, he's used to this, he'll get through it. If not just so they don't have to see her cry. ]

[derepressed]

[That Sano is trying to comfort her, to keep her from crying, when he and Shinpachi are the ones in pain makes Chizuru's heart ache. These men are good - they're too good, they deserve so much better than the lot they've ended up with. They deserve better than to be suffering like this, to have to spend time apart from their friends and comrades for their own safety -

They deserve better than to have been transformed by the concoction her father had helped to create.

When Sano rests his forehead on her head, she shifts her hands down from his and Shinpachi's shoulders to rub small circles for comfort into their backs. She can see that Shinpachi is gripping Sano's wrist so tightly, that he's clutching his other hand against his chest; she can hear the strain in Sano's voice when he tells her not to cry.]

My tears will stop... when your pain stops.

[If you're hurt, it hurts me, too. She isn't sure when that became true, but it is - seeing them in pain causes her pain, though it's nowhere near as intense as what they're feeling. She's not sure she'll ever be able to fully understand how bad it feels for them - she just knows that she wants it to stop.

She doesn't want either one of them to ever have to suffer like this.]