[Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Kaoru seems to be coming back to himself little by little. His breathing is also uneven and shallow and far too fast, but he remains silent, focusing instead on the rapid heartbeat of his younger sister. The way that she talks makes his chest ache, bringing unpleasant flashes to his mind's eye that he can't fully grasp.]
I... have also done my share of killing. A lot, a lot... I've killed a lot of people, haven't I? [He struggles briefly to reconcile with the automatic feeling of hollowed satisfaction that accompanies that, because this Kaoru is still much softer than the him of the past had been. Years of being on the run with humans that he had come to call important friends has worn the sharpness away from the edges of his heart, though it's hard for him to grasp that just yet, too. There are too many facets of himself that need to be unburied before it can all come together in the order it's meant to be in.
He doesn't think it's a wholly awful thing, though - that he's killed. Some haven't been for a good reason, or any reason at all, and those he can recognize as wrong now. But outside of that; killing the Nagumo, killing the people who work with the Producers... Those things are actions that he can't regret, or he'll start to regret the foundation of himself and it's already at such crumbling odds.
His grip shifts on Chizuru, but he remains close. When he speaks again, his voice is weak and breathy.]
...Have I made you like this? This is— my fault...? [His breath hitches.] I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it— You're my precious little sister. You're the most important thing to me... I was so happy that you had been safe!
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I... have also done my share of killing. A lot, a lot... I've killed a lot of people, haven't I? [He struggles briefly to reconcile with the automatic feeling of hollowed satisfaction that accompanies that, because this Kaoru is still much softer than the him of the past had been. Years of being on the run with humans that he had come to call important friends has worn the sharpness away from the edges of his heart, though it's hard for him to grasp that just yet, too. There are too many facets of himself that need to be unburied before it can all come together in the order it's meant to be in.
He doesn't think it's a wholly awful thing, though - that he's killed. Some haven't been for a good reason, or any reason at all, and those he can recognize as wrong now. But outside of that; killing the Nagumo, killing the people who work with the Producers... Those things are actions that he can't regret, or he'll start to regret the foundation of himself and it's already at such crumbling odds.
His grip shifts on Chizuru, but he remains close. When he speaks again, his voice is weak and breathy.]
...Have I made you like this? This is— my fault...? [His breath hitches.] I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it— You're my precious little sister. You're the most important thing to me... I was so happy that you had been safe!
[So what now?]