The more Kaoru speaks, the more his voice changes, the more convinced of this Chizuru becomes. She is too closely tied to the sort of person he used to be; her circumstances now are too similar to what he once lived through. She desperately wants to believe that those damned producers wouldn't have left any of his old memories intact in any way, shape, or form, but - they left hers intact, didn't they? She had thought that it was only because she had to remember to be able to make sure the switch went smoothly in childhood, but -
He sounds more and more like his old self, so much like the person who had suffered, and it absolutely terrifies her. By the time he meets her eyes, she is extremely pale and shaking like a leaf. It's all she can do to keep her grip on her teacup intact.]
That's—
[What has she done? What has she done to him? If she'd just kept her distance, could he have gone on living his peaceful life..? But she was selfish, and she should have just contented herself with watching him when she came here, she shouldn't have involved herself with him the way he has, now look at him -
Torn between his past self and his current self and changing in the blink of an eye. He doesn't even seem aware of it, and she sets her teacup down as he rises to his feet because her hands are shaking so much that she's sloshed some of it out already.]
Yes, go - go check...
[He has to go. He has to be out of her presence before she does something else to damage him without realizing what it's going to do before it's too late. She squeezes her eyes shut and brings both her hands up to fist into her hair, holding onto the strands tightly and shaking her head in a futile effort at clearing her thoughts. It doesn't work - they're filled with him and all the awful things she knows he must have gone through, now, and she is terrified that he's going to remember them, remember the pain—]
Kaoru.
[It's a broken-sounding whisper, barely audible, and she doesn't seem to realize she's spoken it aloud, because she's repeating his name over and over in her head -
Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru.
What can she do to help him now? How can she make this better?
...she's as twisted as he was, once. What if she ends up lashing out and directly hurting him? Just the thought makes her stomach churn and she slumps over, her hands still in her hair, her breathing choppy and uneven as she tries and fails to calm down before he comes back from checking on their food.]
no subject
The more Kaoru speaks, the more his voice changes, the more convinced of this Chizuru becomes. She is too closely tied to the sort of person he used to be; her circumstances now are too similar to what he once lived through. She desperately wants to believe that those damned producers wouldn't have left any of his old memories intact in any way, shape, or form, but - they left hers intact, didn't they? She had thought that it was only because she had to remember to be able to make sure the switch went smoothly in childhood, but -
He sounds more and more like his old self, so much like the person who had suffered, and it absolutely terrifies her. By the time he meets her eyes, she is extremely pale and shaking like a leaf. It's all she can do to keep her grip on her teacup intact.]
That's—
[What has she done? What has she done to him? If she'd just kept her distance, could he have gone on living his peaceful life..? But she was selfish, and she should have just contented herself with watching him when she came here, she shouldn't have involved herself with him the way he has, now look at him -
Torn between his past self and his current self and changing in the blink of an eye. He doesn't even seem aware of it, and she sets her teacup down as he rises to his feet because her hands are shaking so much that she's sloshed some of it out already.]
Yes, go - go check...
[He has to go. He has to be out of her presence before she does something else to damage him without realizing what it's going to do before it's too late. She squeezes her eyes shut and brings both her hands up to fist into her hair, holding onto the strands tightly and shaking her head in a futile effort at clearing her thoughts. It doesn't work - they're filled with him and all the awful things she knows he must have gone through, now, and she is terrified that he's going to remember them, remember the pain—]
Kaoru.
[It's a broken-sounding whisper, barely audible, and she doesn't seem to realize she's spoken it aloud, because she's repeating his name over and over in her head -
Kaoru, Kaoru, Kaoru.
What can she do to help him now? How can she make this better?
...she's as twisted as he was, once. What if she ends up lashing out and directly hurting him? Just the thought makes her stomach churn and she slumps over, her hands still in her hair, her breathing choppy and uneven as she tries and fails to calm down before he comes back from checking on their food.]