[She flinches away from his touch when he puts his hand to hers, and in doing so she nearly loses her balance and tumbles off the porch - but she just barely manages not to by pulling one hand from her hair in order to catch herself, so his attempt at getting her to ease up sort of works. But only sort of, because the hand that remains in her hair tugs even harder to make up for the one that's out.]
Stop, stop, stop..! That can't... If that's the truth, then I never understood— Any of it...?
[She never understood him. They're twins, but she never understood. She saw the good in a group of vicious killers like the Shinsengumi, but she'd thought the worst of her brother - of her twin... it had been so easy to doubt her own flesh and blood, to think him selfish and cruel. Maybe it's because, deep down, she was also selfish.
Had it really been about saving him? Or had it been about claiming her brother by any means necessary? Making him indebted to her for the peaceful life he could live—
As a Yukimura, it probably hadn't been, but she's a Nagumo now and the seed of bitterness that's taken root in her heart says, Yes, yes, that's the case. He's her brother, her brother, and she saved him, he owes her, they're even for real now because they've both experienced a life with the Nagumo and with Yukimura Kodo.
They're even.
So why is this so messed up...? They're even, shouldn't this be easier? Why is she crying - why is he crying - why can't this just be right?]
You're my brother. [She practically snarls the words out, tugging so hard on her hair that a few strands actually come lose, and she winces.] You're my twin! I should have understood you! And I should have been there—
[But when he suffered, when he needed reassurance of his family's love, she wasn't there. He remembered that awful day, and she kept it bottled up, untouched, for so many years. He had no one, and she had Kodo and the Shinsengumi and Okita, her Okita...]
But— This... you didn't want it? You just... wanted me to be happy...? All along, you wanted to be my brother again...?
no subject
[She flinches away from his touch when he puts his hand to hers, and in doing so she nearly loses her balance and tumbles off the porch - but she just barely manages not to by pulling one hand from her hair in order to catch herself, so his attempt at getting her to ease up sort of works. But only sort of, because the hand that remains in her hair tugs even harder to make up for the one that's out.]
Stop, stop, stop..! That can't... If that's the truth, then I never understood— Any of it...?
[She never understood him. They're twins, but she never understood. She saw the good in a group of vicious killers like the Shinsengumi, but she'd thought the worst of her brother - of her twin... it had been so easy to doubt her own flesh and blood, to think him selfish and cruel. Maybe it's because, deep down, she was also selfish.
Had it really been about saving him? Or had it been about claiming her brother by any means necessary? Making him indebted to her for the peaceful life he could live—
As a Yukimura, it probably hadn't been, but she's a Nagumo now and the seed of bitterness that's taken root in her heart says, Yes, yes, that's the case. He's her brother, her brother, and she saved him, he owes her, they're even for real now because they've both experienced a life with the Nagumo and with Yukimura Kodo.
They're even.
So why is this so messed up...? They're even, shouldn't this be easier? Why is she crying - why is he crying - why can't this just be right?]
You're my brother. [She practically snarls the words out, tugging so hard on her hair that a few strands actually come lose, and she winces.] You're my twin! I should have understood you! And I should have been there—
[But when he suffered, when he needed reassurance of his family's love, she wasn't there. He remembered that awful day, and she kept it bottled up, untouched, for so many years. He had no one, and she had Kodo and the Shinsengumi and Okita, her Okita...]
But— This... you didn't want it? You just... wanted me to be happy...? All along, you wanted to be my brother again...?