chizuru "would you jerks stop leaving me" yukimura (
derepressed) wrote in
recountal2014-05-14 10:43 pm
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falling;;
Three months later.
??? Catacombs, whatever the fuck this country is called.
??? Catacombs, whatever the fuck this country is called.

It is so dark that Chizuru feels almost like the darkness is real, tangible, sentient and capable of exerting its pressure and it's a struggle for her to keep walking. She can't see a thing. The only indication she has that she isn't completely and utterly alone is the sound of Saitou's footsteps, the rustling of his clothing, and the soft sound of his breathing, and though she's sorely tempted to reach out and take his hand or hold onto the back of his jacket she can't bring herself to do it because that's too childish. They're here for a very specific reason and they don't have time to waste with her being frightened.
It's been three months since that fateful day at their headquarters, when they had lost nearly everything. It's been a few weeks since Souji's coughing had worsened, and four days since he had collapsed; they'd managed to find him shelter and a good doctor to watch over him, but it's clear that something is horribly, terribly wrong. Frantic research, hour after hour hunched over old medical texts had told them that what Souji suffered from was incurable.
But the doctor, also a student of old legends and myths, had said that there were tales of similar ailments being cured in the ancient past, but the knowledge of how to do so was... gone. Locked away. Buried forever with those who had known it.
...and so they had to try. The catacombs of this civilization lie deep underground and Chizuru doesn't know what they'll find here, but it's the best (the only) lead they've got and Souji's body isn't healing itself the way it should be, as a knight...
The knowledge that he is depend on them to figure this out spurs her onward even in the face of her anxiety. It seems so petty, to be afraid of the dark when Souji has so much more to fear.
Somewhere far ahead of them, there is the flickering of candlelighht. Chizuru sucks in a sharp breath and can't keep herself from reaching out to take Saitou's arm, her clutching his sleeve like he's all that's keeping her from breaking down. She wishes she were stronger, but it's hard. It's been hard ever since that day three months ago, and she is sure the cracks are starting to show.
Assuming he doesn't stop walking when she grabs onto him for comfort, they draw closer to that flickering candlelight and emerge in an underground chamber with a high, vaulted ceiling - the architecture seems so advanced that if not for the fact that it was all buried underground she never would have believed this was a place people lived in the past. At their feet is some kind of track - the tunnel leading in here from the surface had, at one point, merged with a tunnel belowground that some sort of vehicle must have traveled on in ancient times.
There are two winged statues at the center of the chamber, and the only light in the room comes from the flickering candles at their bases, flames burning bright despite the fact that there doesn't seem to be any living soul around to tend to them. The lights cast long shadows on the statues, which face each other and hold a sword and a scythe made of marble, the blades coated with what looks, to Chizuru's eyes, to be dried blood. She hopes she's seeing things.
Then there is a rustle of... something. Chizuru can't pinpoint where it comes from, but a flame flickers into existence at their immediate right and it's as though it set off chain reaction, braziers set into the walls lighting themselves of their own accord. As her eyes adjust to the light, she bites her lip and takes a look at their surroundings.
There are two levels, though there are no stairs; the balcony above them is, for the moment, out of their reach, as are all the openings above them leading out onto it. Across from them is another dark tunnel that the track at their feet runs into; she can't see very far into it. There are other passageways set into three of the four walls - one at the wall their backs are to, two at the wall on their right-hand side, and one at the wall they are facing. None of them are barred by doors, but peering more than a few feet into them from this location is impossible.
She surveys the room with unease, her gaze lingering on the statues and noting that there seem to be inscriptions of some kind at their bases, before she looks to Saitou as though he can tell them what they ought to do. It's so quiet they could hear a pin drop - which is unnerving, considering the way their surroundings had lit up of their own accord. She has the awful feeling that they're getting in over their heads.
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"Yukimura..."
The only change to his normal tone is the added plea seeking her opinion and of course her approval. Since it seems they have to give it together and singularly... It seems ridiculous to be having to offer something they aren't even sure is correct (there seems to be a very specific 'gift' desired.
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"...we're going to save him. Whatever it takes... I'm willing to do it."
Souji is depending on them, after all. He watched them go knowing his life was in their hands, and he allowed it - that weighs on her more heavily than anything. She absolutely can't betray that kind of trust (even if it was reluctant on his part), and she certainly can't let her own discomfort or insecurities be the reason his life comes to an even earlier end.
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But, it still leaves the question of what exactly this 'goddess' is expecting exactly. "What, then, are we presenting exactly?" Because, as logical as it is if he were to think about it... he's not thinking anywhere down that path at the moment (because despite what he saw on the other altar and the demon's answer... well... it just doesn't come to mind ).
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That right there is the problem; this Goddess has given them a hint of some kind (a riddle; Chizuru has never been any good at riddles, she overthinks them to the point of going around in circles and confusing herself, and with Souji's life hanging in the balance that's something she can't afford to do here) but she is still so lost, and the Reaper is looming there behind them.
Her brow furrows and bites her lip. "Saving him would be our... reward. So we need to give a gift of life of some kind, to be rewarded for it..." She's thinking so hard. "But, it's not as if one of us can... be sacrificed the way that demon was be--"
...damn. Iterrupted by a statue. Chizuru has reached a new low.
"Giving life as a gift by ending it... is death. The Reaper's domain. So, then..." There is a slowly dawning comprehension on Chizuru's face. "The opposite of death is birth... but."
But, she's not pregnant, and she won't be any time soon. Even if she were to fall pregnant immediately, that would still take nine months - nine months she isn't sure Souji even has. So it's not an option. "...that would take too long..."
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Saitou glances away considering the riddle and the scenarios that have so far befallen them, considering and theorizing and adding the need information from Chizuru just hazarding guess in her musings. And while she is correct on her thinking, Saitou's expression shifts just slightly to look down at nothing in particular.
Finally, he speaks up but doesn't raise his attention, otherwise. "...You are seeking the act of compilation itself."
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All around them, there is a low and pleased-sounding chuckle; it's very much the laugh of one who is thrilled that their riddle has been solved. And then, a moment later, there is the voice in their heads again:
Chizuru glances at Saitou out of the corner of her eye. She'd said it herself - whatever it takes... Souji is depending on her not to let him down. (Though she isn't sure if Souji wants her copulating with his partner.) She can't get cold feet and back out now - his life is worth so much more than her own chastity, and yet...
If Saitou doesn't want to do such a thing with her... she can hardly force him. But.... she has to offer. She has to at least offer, because Souji is depending on them.
"I..." Her voice sounds weird to her - it's like she's hearing it, but it's detached. Maybe that's just because of how strange this situation is. "To save him... I would give it."
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Saitou almost flinches at the sound of his own voice but they've come too far to back away now, especially with Chizuru consenting. However, he is unhappy, a strange pull in his chest that makes him wonder if he is submitting to a more vile act than simply sleep with the young woman next to him. It's taboo to touch a female comrade for such things, but to do it to Chizuru of all people and just after she experienced what she did in the last room. He is mentally preparing himself for this, his head lowered in shy acceptance of the situation even as the entire thing is already starting to unfold in his head and he feels just a little bit more awful that he can already so easily play this out in his head and, then...
Souji will have to deal with it should he find out. ( Hijikata, on the other hand. . . )
so it took less time to do my makeup for work than i thought it would
Chizuru isn't sure how to begin. She has a general idea of what this offering will entail - there was a time, before she joined the Order, when she had believed that she would grow up to become a wife and a mother one day. And her father had been a doctor - of course she knows the basics.
In theory, anyway; she's never put the theory into practice. Not before joining the Order, and certainly not after joining the Order. Joining had closed that door for her forever... or until she left it. But she wasn't ever planning on leaving, so it might as well have been forever.
She takes a breath and fidgets for a moment or two before leaning over to lightly rest her hand over Saitou's, before glancing up at his face. He doesn't look happy about this (she can't blame him for that one bit) and that makes her hesitate before she finally speaks up. "...when we finish, we won't ever have to talk about this again. I'll put it out of my mind if that's what you want."
It's to save Souji. It's just something they have to do. Saitou doesn't look as though he wants to dwell on it - and so she'll try and get the awkward question of where they'll stand with each other out of the way before they begin, so they don't have to go over it afterward.
Yay small surprise victories c:
. . .
...Cupping her face once she is close enough he drags her forward the rest of the way to lean down and press his lips to gets in a kiss.
The only pause is just before sealing it, a quiet whisper of "Don't worry about it" because he still isn't quite sure he knows what this is going to feel like or what else will happen during it they aren't aware of.
The only thing for certain is that if he's going to have sex with her, then he's going to make it as painless as possible in the process.
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Well, her heart skips a beat at the whisper and then the feel of his lips on hers. Saitou is incredibly gentle and Chizuru is grateful for it, because even though she's willing to go through with it, the thought of doing so is daunting. He will probably be able to note that her lips are cold (a side effect of spending so much time terrified in these dank, dark catacombs), but that will most likely be changing soon, as she very gently moves her lips against his in what she hopes is the proper way of returning his kiss.
(Is propriety really something she should be worried about? They're about to break Order regulations and sleep together in order to save their friend's life. There isn't much that's proper about that.)
She does appreciate the consideration he is showing her, though. It would be easy - easier, even - for him to just see this as a task to be completed and to approach it clinically, but he's making this less frightening for her by being gentle and kind. Her hands come up to grip his clothing as she returns the kiss and she hopes that she can find some way of showing him how grateful he is for how careful he's being.
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And, yet, even still, all those reasons seem just to simply be benefits in addition to the main reason ( ...is this the result of following orders to never engage in such acts? That the second he is given this situation his hormones skyrocket? ).
One hand moves from her face to slip his arm around Chizuru's lower back in order to encourage her to lift herself and let him pull her into his and flush against him, keeping her from sitting just yet by lowering his hand further still.
The kiss itself he deepens and pursues a little further after a moment, opening his mouth to press his tongue to make her part her own and give him access inside to the heat of her mouth and the touch of her tongue.
So long as he doesn't think about it, Saitou insists, he can get through this without much hesitance and embarrassment on his part.
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(A much larger part of her scolds herself for such a thought; this is a one-time thing. Surely Saitou wouldn't want to do it again, and even if he did, there are regulations...)
Her lips part when she feels the touch of his tongue against them and she lets him in, her own tongue coming to meet his and get a taste of him even as she lets him explore her mouth as he pleases. She doesn't want to make this more difficult for him - but it's an almost overwhelming feeling, being this close to him in so many different ways, and she can help but make a soft noise into the kiss:
"Mm..."
It's not one of discomfort, certainly. It sounds more like pleasure, and the way she releases her hold on his clothing to wrap her arms around him instead and pull herself closer (he can probably feel the way her heart is racing, now) only serves to reaffirm that.
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Breaking the kiss finally to breathe he can't help but press his lips to the side of her mouth gently and then move to the edge of her jaw before going further slide his tongue down the length of her neck before kissing some of the flesh briefly. While he doesn't want to hurt her he can't convince himself them going slow and casual is the right way to do this—if he did, he feels he just might have been able to explore her body for hours in worship, to cover and leave every inch of her touched one way or another.
...This is difficult, with the way his mind is wandering from the reason for doing this and he curses himself mentally even as he starts to suck gently on the skin at her throat just above that heightened pulse.
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When the kiss is broken she gasps for breath; she hadn't realized how much she needed to breathe until Saitou had made it possible for her to do so again, and then she gasps again as his lips move along to the edge of her jaw and then his tongue runs over the skin of her neck.
"Ah..!" It's a soft cry, but another cry of pleasure, and she squeezes her eyes and her mouth shut, not wanting to make too much noise. This is - it's their duty. She's enjoying it (more than she ever thought she would, if she's being honest, and they've only just begun), but this isn't something they're doing for the sheer enjoyment of it, and she's worried that being too vocal will bother him. "S.. Saitou, mm..."
...and yet, she can't help herself. Her eyes flutter back open but they're half-lidded when she turns her attention to him again, her heart racing, a wet heat between her legs that will make how she's feeling all too obvious when he finally does touch her.
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"...If you like it, I want to know." He should feel guilty—he knows he should feel guilty —and that he will later is a given but for now none of that is able to even brush upon inhibiting from his actions, especially not when his fingers run along her between her legs and pick up on that temperature and wetness.
So no, she doesn't have to keep herself quiet, he wants to hear more of her, wants to hear as well as feel and see her enjoying it and even as he sinks his fingers up into her, indulging to follow the source of that heat and fluid, he grimaces just a little at the feeling it sends through him, his other hand moving up to clutch at one of her breasts while bringing his mouth to suck at the erect nipple.
Hijikata and Souji are going to kill him for this, but he's not sure if he can stand to care by now even if they weren't doing this for a valid reason. Or, no, he cares but he wants her far more than he cares about their reactions. They don't have to know, do they?
It's a slow and gentle movement that his fingers sink a little deeper into her, obtaining a pattern of pulling back and then pushing in again to go just a little further each time,all the while he drags his thumb against her and forward to seek out her clit. Just the way she's responding has made him hard and the thought of getting to have her react more is just too tempting not to indulge in by continuing.
( they don't ever have to know. )
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That's the sound of her letting out another cry as his lips come around her nipple and his fingers slip inside of her. This cry is louder - much louder - and it echoes in the chamber as her back arches and her toes curl. There is some slight pain at the feeling of his fingers within her, because this isn't something she's experienced before and it's uncomfortable, to suddenly have something there. But his tongue on her nipple and the way he sucks on it is nothing but pleasure, and it sends jolts up and down her spine that leave her gasping for more.
"P..please..! Mmm..."
It's shameless, she knows that, but she doesn't want him to stop just yet. His fingers are slowly finding their rhythm, inching deeper and deeper into her, and when he first rolls his thumb over her clit she lets out another loud cry, this time of his name - "Saitou..!"
It's very quickly becoming clear that pleasures of the flesh are something that Chizuru could easily become lost in, given the chance. It's also quickly becoming clear that she's avoided becoming lost in them by abstaining entirely. There will come a point when Saitou's fingers won't be able to go much deeper, his fingertips brushing against something that will, with more pressure, break and give way, but before he can do so she'll wince with sudden pain.
It's the pain that shocks her partially out of the haze of pleasure she's been so lost in and she realizes that while he's been pleasuring her, she hasn't been doing much for him. That's selfish of her and she needs to change that, but with his thumb over her clit and his mouth on her nipple it's hard to find the words, though she is actually able to form the thoughts. She brings a hand to his shoulder, then follows his shoulder to his collar and slips her fingers under the fabric to follow that to where she can start undoing his clothing - his fingers on her skin felt so good; she wants him to feel her fingers on his.
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He's about to move when he feels her hand tracing over his shoulder and then slipping under to brush against bare skin. And for him, her touch is like ice but in an alluring and enticing way and he goes to ease up on her, no moving to press her further into anything just yet. Instead, with his soaked fingers, he slides them forward to join his thumb in touching her, slowing to gentler pace and changing the pressure of how he touches her clit with each brush over.
A for his mouth he remains suckling her breast, working to keep the nipple stimulated and erect. Now it's idle pleasuring to keep her feeling it and wanting more but not so much as to completely overwhelm her from what she wants to do at this moment. And if unbuttoning his clothing is what Chizuru wants?
Saitou is not going to stop her.
But he does finally lift his head away from her breasts to bring his lips to her ear, kissing it affectionately before murmuring in gentle concern, "Did I hurt you...?" He did notice her flinch earlier (how could he not with her up against him and him with his hands over her like they have been and still are?) and while he doesn't feel he made any real mistake or error, he does want to make sure.
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And so she hurries to undo his buttons as he works at her clit and her nipple, her fingers brushing against his skin with each move, lower and lower, until it's unbuttoned enough for her to push the fabric away to bare more of his skin. She can't get it off him entirely just yet, not with the way they're so close together (not with the way that would mean bringing his hand away from her clit so she could get the sleeves over his hand to take off), but with more skin shown she lightly traces her fingertips over his skin, indistinct patterns over his muscles and then a careful brush against his nipple - she doesn't know if it's the same for him, but she knows her own feel so, so good when he shows them any sort of attention at all.
She keeps this careful mapping of his body with her fingers up even as he kisses at her ear before whispering to her, and then she nods. "Mm... I'm okay. It was just..."
She's not sure how to explain it. Chizuru doesn't really want to remind him that this is her first time, that it's going to be a little painful regardless of how gentle he's being (and she knows it will be painful; that's just the way it is). What she wants is just to focus on the parts that feel good, to make the pleasure so intense that it drowns out any of the pain. That's what she wants.
She shifts her head a little so that she can meet his lips for a slow, gentle kiss, and then she murmurs against him, "Don't worry. I..." She takes a breath and lets one of her hands wander further down his chest, coming to rest at his hip for a moment before sliding around to his rear to try and pull him a little closer to her. As close as they are right now... she can't help but feel it isn't enough. "I want you... s-so, um..."
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When she tries to pull them closer he moves but also realizes if she didn't notice before she should definitely now how hard he is in arousal. He glances away a moment, his blush deepening over that as well as her claim of desiring him (biologically it makes sense to him but emotionally—and emotion doesn't need to have a place here—it's difficult to comprehend ). Nevertheless he finally moves to adjust their positions, lifting his hand away from her clit as well to lay her down against the altar at one of the pillows, using the opportunity to discard the rest of his top that she had wanted removed before hovering over her and lowering to get closer as he tips in to kiss her jaw and then go back to her neck. Slipping a hand underneath her back he arches her up flush against him, wanting to feel to softness of her breasts and smoothness of her skin against him and all the heat emanating from her with it.
"I want you... more than anything, right now," his words are quiet and against her skin to make them even more only for her to hear. It's shyness of the confession as well as some lingering faint guilt (but it's being smothered by lust and the longer it tries to slip into the forefront of his thought); they are supposed to be doing this for Souji but is enjoying it a bad thing, then? Is wanting to take this woman and claim her tainting the reasoning? To hear her screams and moans and know it's his doing that is affecting her in such a way? It's shameful thinking and even moreso the it contains desire to see a partner of the order so shamelessly taken in by such things they are told to stay away from. Pleasures like this are distracting and instantly gratifying but it feels so good to touch her like this and hear her want him and feel her naked I touch and body against him. Carefully letting her back down he lifts his head to kiss her and passionately so.
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But she doesn't get to keep it up for long, because he's laying her down against a pillow and then shedding his top. She can't help the way her gaze wanders, drinking in the sight of him, nor can she help the way her cheeks darken in color. He really is handsome. It's not the first time she's thought it (though perhaps this will be her first opportunity to say it).
When he slips his hand under her back to press her into him she arches her back, wanting to feel the warmth of his body against her as much as he wants to feel the warmth of her body against his. Perhaps the circumstances that have led them to this are frightening; perhaps before she began she was anxious about whether or not this would really be okay. She isn't dwelling on that anymore, and she couldn't if she tried.
In this moment, all she can think of is the man she's pressed up against, the man who she wants so badly that it's like every inch of her is crying out for him.
"Then, take me." The words come out in a whisper and she closes her eyes because it's hard to say such things, even with how badly she wants him. "I'm yours..."
For now - for however long they'll be doing this... Chizuru is all his.
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He's not a complete stranger to this but the last woman he had touched wasn't like her. Chizuru is absolutely lovely, though—she surely can't understand how much so with her lack of self-esteem and manages to give an air of purity to a rather impure activity.
It's then that he shifts back letting his hands set her gently back against the altar, hands trailing down her torso and along to caress her hips and then thighs before proceeding to spread them wide open to expose herself more openly to him.
"Then, please, I... I want to touch... and... hear you, just a little longer," He admits shyly barely loud enough for her to hear as if someone else might be around to listen in. Regardless, he's not shy enough to stop himself: moving and trailing his hands down to keep her legs spread open he leans in and brings his tongue to run up against her clitoris rather than continue to touch her with his hands.
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Then she sucks in a sharp breath as his hands trail lower and he starts to lean in. "Anything you want, you can-- I'll-- Ahhh..."
It's unlike anything she's ever felt before. It's less a jolt of pleasure that courses through her once and more a steady stream of it, not quite overwhelming but she can see - she can definitely see - how with just a little more time to savor it, she could very quickly become completely lost in what Saitou is doing to her. And she likes it.
Her heart is pounding and she's making incoherent noises of pleasure as she clenches her fists into the coverings on the altar. He's said that he wants to hear her so she doesn't make any attempt to silence herself at all - he wants to hear her, so she'll let him know exactly how much she wants him to keep going.
"Sai.. Saitou, mm... Don't ever - don't stop... please...!"
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Finally, her pulls up from the wetness of her vagina, running his tongue slowly ( so slowly ) one more time over her swollen clit before he leans in once lifted to kiss her shamelessly, immediately sliding his tongue into her mouth as he fumbles with his pants to pull them down and expose his erection, only nothing the replied of having himself constricted from the clothing.
Breaking the kiss he speaks quietly to her even as he brings his hands back to grasp her thighs to once again spread her wide and keep her so, letting the tip of his cock brush against her folds. Feeling her fluids touch the tip of him makes his shiver a little, finding a need to force himself to not simply push into her right then.
"...I'm going to push inside and take you, now, Yukimura... if you'll let me."