derepressed: (i'm lost send help)
chizuru "would you jerks stop leaving me" yukimura ([personal profile] derepressed) wrote in [community profile] recountal2014-06-09 08:26 pm

reunion;;

Yukimura Residence.
Edo, Japan, January 1864.

[The years have stretched on and on, agonizingly slowly. Part of it is because Chizuru lacks the child-like lack of perspective that makes time fly by so quickly in the earliest years; mostly, it's because the Nagumo are so very cruel. Time flies when one is having fun, but among that clan...

This is the first opportunity she's had in years to even consider a visit to Edo, and though she might pay for it later, she doesn't care. There's something she has to do here, and so here she is, dressed in the finery one would expect of the wife of the young master of the Nagumo. Perhaps it's strange, to see such a finely-dressed young lady in front of the humble Yukimura clinic.

She doesn't care. She just doesn't care.

She is stopped, outside the house, because it's both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. The house looks mostly the same, but the subtle differences, are they there because it's not her that's living there? All the touches of a young woman are gone. Chizuru has never lived here, but Kaoru has, and -

The differences are Kaoru's touch. That eases the knot of tension in her gut the slightest bit and gives her the courage to move forward, to call into the house as though she's a patient and this is a perfectly normal visit.]


Excuse me? I was wondering if perhaps I might speak with Yukimura-sensei...

[He won't be here. She's sure he won't, sure she's remembered the timing because her memories are all that's gotten her through the years at the hands of those horrible people, but that's okay. He isn't the one she is here to see.

She's depending on the fact that it will be Kaoru who will answer her call.]
souredsweet: breadcrusts (you're a hot mess)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-08-30 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[it takes Kaoru a second or two to realize that Chizuru is lagging behind him, and another second for him to stop, too. it's mostly because he doesn't realize just how much hearing something like that might unsettle her, even though she doesn't exactly clear up his confusion once she speaks. "please go somewhere else". he feels something similar to the sting of rejection when he hears that, even though he knows he shouldn't. not only does he not know Chizuru well enough for it, but the way that she phrases that makes it seem like it isn't about rejection at all.

the more she talks, the more sure of it he becomes, and that pang is replaced by something arguably worse. it's a strangely familiar knot of anxiety deep in the pit of his stomach. why Tosa? why is she so concerned about him going to Tosa? the more he repeats that question to himself, the worse the anxiety becomes.]


Why—? [his voice sounds smaller than he had intended, and he clears his throat.] Why not? Are the beaches too hot?

[it's a sad attempt at shoving the sudden cloud of negativity away from both of them.]
souredsweet: breadcrusts (OKITA SOUJI...)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-01 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
[it's definitely a valiant effort, and a clever one, too. if this Kaoru had even a fraction of the paranoia-fueled self preservation that his old self once had, it would absolutely be enough to both dissuade him from visiting, and probably enough for him to drop the topic entirely.

but this Kaoru - he hasn't had the chance to experience what it's like to try standing up for something only to be cut down over and over. he doesn't know what it's truly like to feel as though his life is in genuine danger, like he's been backed into a corner and he will absolutely die this time, this time for sure. because he doesn't know any of this, his emotional reactions are untempered.]


It isn't... safe? Just because we share similar looks, that entire place wouldn't be safe for me to visit? [for how natural and easy his smiles seem to be in this reality, that look of anger and vague disdain still seems at home on his face, like the muscles there have never really forgotten how to move in that way.]

I've heard some things about that clan before; I think that most people have. But I had hoped the stories were... exaggerated. [though he's had his doubts since she first appeared with her request.] For those people to force you into coming to me at all for the reasons that you have, and then to be angry about it - to make things dangerous for you...

[he trails off after that, because he's not entirely sure why the idea of her being mistreated by these people makes him so white-hot angry. sure, he's always (hah) had a streak of empathy, but this goes well beyond it. he really can't stand this idea.]
Edited 2014-09-01 01:07 (UTC)
souredsweet: mewtube (cranky brats)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-01 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[a strange thing happens when she reaches out to touch his shoulder - and that's that Kaoru jumps a little when she comes into contact with him. he doesn't seem to notice, it's so small and seemingly instinctive, but it's definitely the first time that he's ever reacted like that to any sort of physical contact since she had first arrived in her old home.

but he's far too absorbed in the idea of this horrible clan to pay it any mind even if he has noticed it. something about that - "it's not dangerous for me" - doesn't sit right with him. if it wasn't too dangerous for her, why would she be making this request at all? why would a person with her face be in trouble? doesn't that imply that she would be in trouble? he'd fold his arms across his stomach in a habitual gesture of irritated anxiety if it weren't for the bags he's holding, but the agitation manifests even without him doing that.]


...I won't make you carry that burden. [the burden of him getting into a situation that's over his head and ending up hurt because of it. the idea makes him unreasonably upset, thinking that she might not be able to forgive herself because of something he's done.]

But just accepting something like that - I can't... How can you live like that? With people who force you into these situations...? [he shakes his head, and while some of the anger dies away from his expression, there's definite lingering tension.] You shouldn't have to spend your time around people who mistreat you.
souredsweet: breadcrusts (doubt)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-01 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[it seems temporary, at least, that brief withdrawal. he relaxes soon enough, though his shoulders remain tense. hearing her continue to talk doesn't really do anything for his temper, though, which has always been quick and foul even in this version of his life. he has better control over it now and it keeps him from wanting to lash out (though not at Chizuru, absolutely not at Chizuru), but something about this has become quite an exercise in patience.

but all the thanks in the world and all the fine control over temper can't do much to actually get rid of that anger. his grip tightens a little on the bags in his arms.]


You shouldn't feel like it's all right for you to be reduced to something like that. Saying "I was born for it" doesn't make it any better, any more "all right"... [...maybe his temper management isn't quite as fine as he believed. he can feel it slipping as he speaks.] And you shouldn't need to make yourself into a huge shield, or to view that as an upside to this sort of situation. Why should you be the one to take that kind of responsibility onto yourself? It's their fault for mistreating you! They should be made to answer to their crimes! Mistreatment can't just be left unpaid, they—

[they should die.

...the thought comes to him so suddenly, so swiftly, so naturally, that it leaves him feeling very, very frightened. it had come and gone like a terrible, uncontrollable, intrusive thing, but it's enough to rattle him into silence. his face pales - and then he readjusts his grip on his bags and starts to walk again.]


—I'm sorry. I was speaking out of line.

[but he won't apologize for feeling what had made him speak out.]
souredsweet: breadcrusts (listen; the bells ring)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-02 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
[he doesn't stop walking, but his pace slows enough so that he can turn a little to look at her while she talks. he's still holding the bags close to his chest, almost like a shield.]

No— It's my own fault, so please don't apologize for that. [it's not any of his business and he's really made things worse for her by dredging up what's likely a painful topic. what right does he have to get upset like that? if anyone should be upset, it's Chizuru for having to tolerate that kind of abuse. even if he doesn't understand it, the last thing he ever wanted was to allow a sudden spike of temper to bring the mood down so far.

he'll try, then, to offer up a reassuring smile instead. unlike his earlier smiles, this one seems to come to him only after a little trouble.]


It's still a good day, so please excuse my reaction. [...huh. that had come out a little more stilted than he had expected - almost too polite. he's quick to amend himself.] That is - I was the one who reacted badly, so... I hope that you'll still want to eat breakfast with me after that.

[mostly, though, he wants something to distract him from the lingering sour sentiments that this clan has dredged up.]
souredsweet: breadcrusts (not bara enough)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-02 01:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[she'll find her earnestness echoed in him, at least. he doesn't see an ounce of blame in her over what's just happened here and hadn't even considered that she might be worried about something like that.]

Of course I still want to. I've been looking forward to it... [and just because he managed to mess things up by being so verbally clumsy, that hasn't changed one bit. eating his dinner with Chizuru the other night had somehow been the most "at home" that he's felt in a long, long time and he wouldn't trade breakfast with her for the world.]

...So let's go, all right?

[the smile that follows seems a little easier to muster up, at least, and then he's shifting his bags and gesturing ahead. the house is nearby and it doesn't take much longer to get inside, though he'll wait to walk alongside Chizuru rather than hurrying ahead to the kitchen on his own.]
souredsweet: jackandtink (bluebell)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-02 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[to his credit, he's doing his best to move past any bumps that might have formed because of that episode. he doesn't want to ruin something so nice because he's made a mistake, so he'll try to pave it over and make amends.]

I'm a little hungrier, too. Let's make extras.

[he sounds VERY DETERMINED about this! and he will immediately get to work with taking out his ingredients, too. he steps over to get the dishes and utensils that will be necessary - cutting board, knife, small dishes to heat in the fire. his expression becomes a little nostalgic as he works.]

... You know, when I was little, I used to eat this all the time. Father said that I'd ask for it as a snack at least once a week for a while. I had friends that I used to eat it with a long time ago, I think... I don't remember it well, but one of them used to pick out the quail eggs because their size disturbed her. That's stuck in my mind to this day since it was so ridiculous.

[and he does sound softly amused recounting the tale, silly as it is...

but one thing may stand out to Chizuru here; despite the fact that he most certainly first had odamaki-mushi in their village, that memory is not one she'll be able to recall from the youth that she had spent together with this Kaoru. the child he's speaking about is one of the village kids that they used to spend time with, but in this life, that event had never occurred. perhaps she'll find it strangely familiar, anyway...?]
souredsweet: breadcrusts (what the fudgewinkles is going on)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-02 03:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Too small.

[the answer comes immediately and it, too, will likely be toeing that same unpleasantly familiar line.]

Though to be honest, I can't blame her for thinking something like that. If a person is only used to chicken eggs or duck eggs, a tiny quail egg would probably be a really bizarre thing to eat. [this is followed by a quiet laugh as Kaoru sets the pan down on the counter, pouring water into it to set the smaller pots in.

it seems that one stray memory is the only oddity currently present, and he sets it aside easily enough. he's thumbing through the vegetables and placing them in the sink to rinse off, apparently more focused on that than on the little girl and her aversion to quail eggs.]


Hm... We really did get a lot, didn't we? How big do you want the portions to be?
souredsweet: breadcrusts (it's a simple method)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-02 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[a decisive nod! good job, Chizuru, going with the conversational flow. Kaoru already seems to have put the story behind him, drying off the washed vegetables and setting them on the cutting board to dice.]

Two large bowls, then. I'm definitely hungry enough to eat that much. [he hadn't even realized he was so hungry, but maybe walking to and from the market had been enough to push him over.]

Ah— Do you mind cracking the eggs? I'll boil the ones for garnishes. [the teeny tiny garnish quail eggs, that is.]
souredsweet: breadcrusts (the singing light)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-03 02:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[at least he doesn't seem to be the sort of person who engages in much small talk while working. he boils the ittybitty eggs quietly and quickly, setting them off to the side to add on top once the rest of the ingredients have been poured. once the udon is prepared, though, he'll speak up again.]

I think we should probably double the cooking time for these ones, but that still isn't very long. [the smile he offers is warm again, like the ones that he had been wearing before Tosa had been mentioned.]

If you want to dish out the noodles, I can handle the eggs. What kind of vegetables do you want in yours?

[he's already diced them all, complete with cutting the carrot quarters into cute little flower shapes.]
souredsweet: jackandtink (bluebell)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-07 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[if he notices that distance - and he'd have to have very keen eyes for it, since he only glances up briefly after his attention returns to the little dishes - he doesn't say anything.]

All right. [in regard to both. he might feel a little surge of pride at having picked all good vegetables...! even if all he did was pick the ones that he likes the most. it just happened to be an obviously good strategy in this particular case.

either way, he starts to dish things out, filling the ramekins and making sure that the vegetables are evenly divided. while he's settling the quail eggs on top, though, he decides to be a psychic and ask:]


Would you like extra carrots?
souredsweet: breadcrusts (kya senpai noticed)

[personal profile] souredsweet 2014-09-07 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[KAORU, HOARDER OF THE INGREDIENTS. he artfully arranges the carrots in her bowl so that they're in a little circle around the quail eggs. it's like a garden...]

I'm fine with this, thank you. Ah - and thank you for making the tea, too.

[since that kind of slipped his mind WHOOPS... but he'll get to arranging the dishes in the tray and then set the tray over the fire to heat them up. while setting that up, he calls back over his shoulder.]

Let me know if you need help with anything, all right? I'd rather you feel like a guest here. [rather than like, hired help or something. CHIZURU.]

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